01 August 2016

Mr. Mercedes (The Bill Hodges Trilogy Book 1) by Stephen King

Title: Mr. Mercedes (The Bill Hodges Trilogy Book 1)

Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Mercedes-Bill-Hodges-Trilogy-Book-ebook/dp/B00HW2EHEO/

Genre: Crime, Suspense, Thriller

Pages: 417                            

Status: Skipped

Recommended for awisls: Not Recommended

Stephen King has taught me a lot. His older stuff is brilliant (with a few exceptions). He’s one of the best short story writers. He’s the King of Horror. He means a lot to many aspiring writers. I have read almost everything by S. King (with a few exceptions). After Mr. Mercedes, I don’t think I’ll touch a King book ever again. Something has changed about his novels. They are not gripping, they do nothing to me. Where is the man who wrote The Mist? The Shining? Dolores Claiborne? What the hell was this book? You can stone me and pelt me, throw rotten tomatoes at me, say that tastes differ, that different people like different things, but nothing will change the fact that this was a poor excuse of a thriller. If Mr. Mercedes were written by an indie author, it would have been torn to pieces, hanged, quartered, burnt with acid, and ridiculed to the very last sentence. Think about every cliché and be sure to find it in this book:

  1. A retired cop who will get the bad guy all alone or with the help of a few friends? Check!
  2. A maniac with daddy issues, mommy fantasies, who’s also a sibling-killing homophobic racist spending time in mom’s basement and wanting glory for his crimes? Check! (this has to be King’s worst antagonist ever)
  3. A beautiful woman out of the main guy’s league going for the main guy? Check!
  4. A young prodigy who knows computer stuff and helps our computer illiterate main guy? Check!

I might have stumbled upon more clichés if I didn’t start skipping from the 40% point of the book. It was unreadable. It was boring. It was lacking. It was dull, colorless, lazy. It wasn’t even as well written as a lot of King’s old stuff. This book was not even average. I thought that Duma Key was King’s worst. Then I thought Under the Dome was King’s worst. Then I thought that nothing could be worse than Dr. Sleep. Turns out I was wrong each time. Mr. Mercedes is a very long drivel. How could the man behind Salem’s Lot pen this? Either this was written by a ghost writer, or King needs a long vacation.

I’m sorry to say this, but the King is naked.

Mr. Mercedes Stephen King crime thriller bad